Permissive Parents

Permissive Parents

Today’s Passage – Judges 14 – 17 (Click on the references to listen to the audio – Click here to view the passage from Blue Letter Bible)

(Second Milers also read – 2 John, 3 John, JudeProverbs 25Psalms 121 – 125

Listen to this morning’s Scripture song –  Psalm 55:17

Read the “0325 Evening and Morning” devotion for today, by the late Charles Haddon Spurgeon.

“And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines. And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife. Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well.” – (Judges 14:1-3)

Years ago, my wife and I were at the boardwalk with Phil and Melissa who were, I think, around 6 and 5 at the time. As they were getting out of the “moon bounce”, there was another small child there that did not want to get out when the time was up. His grandfather pleaded with him to no avail, until finally he had to go in after the little boy. He grabbed the child and began to drag him out, and the kid started kicking and screaming, and finally spit right in his grandfather’s face. The grandfather just kept sweet-talking and pleading with the child, promising him other rides and ice-cream, cotton candy, etc. just to get the kid to want to come out. I remember thinking at that moment that I would have liked to be that kid’s dad for just 5 minutes. I would have let him have his little temper tantrum, and then I would have had my big one. We would have had a “pow-wow” – I would have done the powing, and he would have done the wowing.

We can see from our passage today that Samson’s parents were far too permissive. They appeased Samson by giving him whatever he wanted. Samson was a spoiled brat. Notice in vv. 1 – 3 of Judges 14 that Samson twice orders his parents to “get” this woman from Timnath for him “to wife”. Now this woman was not an Israelite, and did not share the same beliefs that Samson’s family did. The Old Testament Law was clear that an Israelite could only marry a woman that worshipped Jehovah God. Yet, the parents reluctantly gave Samson what he wanted. What a shame. Parents are supposed to be the ones who know what is best for their children.

The Bible has a lot to say about discipline and child-rearing. I will list a few of the verses here:

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” – (Proverbs 22:6)

“Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” – (Proverbs 19:18)

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” – (Proverbs 22:15)

“Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.” – (Proverbs 23:13-14)

“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” – (Proverbs 29:15)

When we read these verses, we might think that God wants us to be mean and abusive to our children, which is absolutely not the case. I have only had to spank my children a couple of times each in their lives. That is all that was necessary in order for them to understand that Mom and Dad are in charge, and that the children are to submit their wills to the will of their parents. We love our children, and they love us. We have a lot of fun together, and spend a lot of time with each of them individually as well as corporately as a family, but we are their parents, not their buddies. All of our children are now grown, and our relationships with them have changed somewhat. We are now more like counselors to them, but there is still a great deal of love and respect showed to us by our grown children.

Parents, don’t buy into this modern philosophy regarding the rearing of children. Go to the Word of God. Biblical love and discipline your child before you produce a grown spoiled brat like Samson.

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3 years ago

Great post,With my children when they were small.When they got the taste of my paddle,I very seldom used it.

Bob Fenton
Bob Fenton
20 days ago

Amen Pastor. When I got a taste of my father‘s hand, he very seldom had to use it,it wised me up very quickly. But when I would mess up along the way all my mother would have to say “wait till your father gets home”. I would panic and straightened up pretty fast with a lot of begging. Like the post.

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