Making a Differencewith Pastor Phil Erickson

I don’t exactly remember when it started. One day, she just wouldn’t get in the bathtub. So I didn’t make her. Judge me if you want; she got in bed dirty that night. The fight just wasn’t worth it. Afterall, I was ready for bed too. But on the second night when she refused to bathe, I couldn’t just ignore her again. She really needed that bath. So we began the struggle. Every night it was the same. It started with me asking her to come and get in the bathtub, to which she would reply, “I don’t want.” I, in my kindest, sweetest Mommy voice would explain to her that she is the child. That she does not always know what is best for her and she does not always get what she wants. I would tell her that this is about her health and well-being; everyone has to take a bath! She’d just look at me, not getting it.

I then went on to trying a different approach. I’d say excitedly, “Lexi! Its time! Let’s go play in the bathtub!” And she’d blink her eyes very fast, big crocodile tears beginning to run down her cheeks. Her one more plea for sympathy. When she saw that the tears were not getting her anywhere, she would begin to shriek, “No bath, no bath, NO BATH!” as if the water would indeed melt her beautiful brown skin. I’d try saying it more sternly the next time. “Lexi! Bath time!” My next step would be to lift her to her feet and half drag her down the hall to the bathroom. Her sorrow would then turn to anger. She’d make her best “I don’t like you Mom” face, fold her arms and plop to her bottom. “I DON’T WANT!”, she would repeat. So I would pick her up. She would kick and scream and eventually I would succeed at getting her into the bathtub. She would then begin to flail around in there for a bit, much like a cat would do if you attempted to bathe it. She would let me know with her wails that I was ruining her life and she may never be happy again. My how these daily episodes put a damper on our mornings, and nights, and occasional middle-of-the-nights.

And then after she was wet, I was wet, and I began to ponder whether its really that important for children to bathe daily anyway, the same thing would happen every time… As she splashed more and more and the bubbles became more and more bubbly, she would remember. She really liked the bath. Bathtime was fun. Not to mention a really great way to get clean. In fact most of the time, she wouldn’t want to get out of the bath. You see, the bath time struggle was not at all about the bath. It was about obedience. She was a toddler and she simply did not want to obey. She thought it should be her decision whether or not she got in the bathtub. She was a toddler and was trying to figure out just how much control she had in her little life.

Maybe the fact that this went on as long as it did was a result of me being a young, unexperienced mother. Looking back I suppose I should have disciplined her more severely for her disobedience. But the reality is, little disobedient Lexi reminds me so much of grown-up, present-day Sara. Like Lexi who didn’t have the insight to know what was really good for her, I sometimes cross my arms and pout and shout “I don’t want!” when God instructs me on what is best for my life too. I have it in my head that I want to do what I want to do. I wake up each morning and prepare for bed each night thinking of what I think is best for my life. When God calls out “Sara! Its time!” and begins to speak to me and show me what He has for me to do, my gut instinct is many times- run the other way, no not today, He doesn’t really know whats best for MY life. But guess what, He does! And if I would just obey Him, the FIRST time, how much more joy-filled my mornings, and nights, and middle-of-the-nights would be!

Because you see, once I face the reality that I don’t really know whats best for my life, even as an adult- I begin to submit to HIS will. I hop in the tub gladly. Only then do I experience real joy, real peace, real fun, real washing away of all the filth and grime I was covered in. I find myself in the very center of His will. And its at that point that I realize, ‘hey, its not so bad in here afterall!’ I shudder to think what I may have missed in my disobedience. I am so thankful that God in His grace does not allow me to win. Usually, the fight is not really about what He is asking me to do. It is not about the bathtub. It is about me, trying to figure out just how much control I have over my little life. Just like Lexi at bathtime. I would like to tell you that I always do exactly what the Lord asks of me. I would like to tell you that I always seek Him first when a difficult situation presents itself. But most times I don’t. Sometimes I still think it should me my decision what I do with my life. He asks, and reasons, and encourages. He gently explains that I do not know what is best for me and that I do not always get what I want. And I just look at Him, not getting it. I whine and sob and shriek, just like a tired, angry toddler who doesn’t want to take a bath. And so He picks me up, exhausted from struggling, and plops me in the center of His will for my life. And then a funny thing happens. After I’m done kicking and screaming and struggling, I remember. I like being in the center of God’s will for my life. It feels a whole lot like being held all wrapped up inside a warm towel. God’s plan is usually pretty great. It is a whole lot better than mine anyway. I am so glad that He doesn’t allow me to win. Instead he just tries another route, hoping that I will soon see that He really is right about what is best for my life and submit to what He wants me to do.

If you were to walk into my house at bathtime a few years back, you might have thought I was a pretty horrible mother, letting my child kick and scream and wail on the floor like that. But I think sometimes He allows us to throw a fit, to be horribly resistant, to appreciate how awesome it is when we finally obey. I am happy to report that one day, Lexi began remembering how much she liked the bath before she began crying. She eventually got to a point where she would come running when I would tell her it was bath time. I am praying that one day soon, I will begin remembering how much I love and desire God’s plan for my life before I begin questioning and arguing and insisting that my desires are greater than His. Maybe I’ll even get to the point of submitting the first time He asks something of me.