I Don’t Wanna by Melissa Dilley

Today’s Passage – Exodus 7 – 9

(Second Milers also read – Mark 15 – 16; Proverbs 22; Psalms 106 – 110)

Scripture memorization for January – Isaiah 53

Listen to “Heaven’s Sounding Sweeter” by Monica McCoyMark 15 – 16

“And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” – (Matthew 26:39)

My name is Melissa Dilley and I am 36 years old. I am laying in a hospital bed in my parents’ living room and I will never get out of it. I have rheumatoid arthritis and cervical cancer. I am going to die. Soon.

His name is Jesus and He was 33 years old. He was on His knees in a garden and the soldiers were coming to arrest Him. He had never done anything wrong but His people hated Him. He was going to die. Soon.

Jesus is the Son of God. He spent His entire life helping and loving people; teaching them how to live more abundantly, and how to know they will get to Heaven after life was over. But He was about to face a bad situation. He was going to die. He was a “good man”. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t do anything wrong. It wasn’t fair. “Let this cup pass. [I DON’T WANNA].”

As humans we experience this emotion. God knows this. He knows everything that’s in our hearts. If Jesus could feel this way, why can’t we? The responsibility we have that comes with this emotion is to remember – “not as I will, but as THOU wilt” (emphasis mine). We can take a few moments to feel sorry for ourselves, but then proceed in doing what it is that God wants us to do.

In Matthew 21:28 – 31, Jesus tells a story about a man who had two sons he asked to work fo him. The one son said he didn’t wanna, but then did. The second said he would work, but then didn’t. Then Jesus asked which son did the father’s will. Even the Pharisees knew it was the first son.

So the next time something bad comes your way, get in your prayer closet and cry for a while. Tell God: “I don’t understand, I don’t like it, I don’t wanna, but I will”.

Posted in Devotions, Guest Posts by with 4 comments.


  • Debbie Baber says:

    Melissa, what a blessing you are! I just don’t have adequate words but what I do believe is that you have reached many souls for Christ and are continuing to do so with each moment. What a dear and precious soul you are and your love for Christ shines through you and all over you. My prayers & thoughts will continue to be with you & your folks & your Jersey Shore family. God bless y’all.

  • Stephanie says:

    Thank you very much Melissa for posting this post it really touched my heart and has made me have a better outlook on things I often question.
    Thank you so much again!!
    The kids and I miss seeing your beautiful face in church and you can be Mrs.Jetter (insider:) )

    Love ya!God bless you and your family we all are always praying for you guys!

  • Tiffany holland says:

    Melissa since I’ve known you,you have not let your situation make you bitter.I know there were times when you are tired and in pain but through it all you always kept a smile because you see the Big picture and your purpose God has blessed you and is with you…love Tiffany! !!!!!

  • Katelyn Erickson says:

    Melissa, Your faith continues to encourage and challenge me everyday. I praise Him for enduring the cross so that we can be forever Sisters in Christ. The Light that shines brightly through you is so contagious! Lots and lots of love and prayers!

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