Is It I?

Today’s Passage – Mark 14 (Click on the references to listen to the audio – click here to view the text from the Blue Letter Bible website)

(Second Milers also read – Psalms 111 – 115; Proverbs 23)

Listen to this morning’s Scripture song – 1 Timothy 1:17

Read the “1023 Evening and Morning“ devotion for today, by the late Charles Haddon Spurgeon.

“And as they sat and did eat, Jesus said, Verily I say unto you, One of you which eateth with me shall betray me. And they began to be sorrowful, and to say unto him one by one, Is it I? and another said, Is it I? … And they all forsook him, and fled.” (Mark 14:18-19, 50)

Judas betrayed the Lord (Mark 14:43 – 44); Peter denied the Lord (Mark 14:71 – 72); three of the disciples could not stay awake with Jesus in his time of need in the Garden of Gethsemane (Mark 14:37); and all the disciples forsook Him and fled (Mark 14:50). No wonder the disciples each asked Jesus: “Is it I?” They all knew that they were capable of forsaking the Lord. The possible exception is the Apostle John who according to his own account asked: “who is it?”

When the disciples asked, “Is it I?”, I believe they were being completely transparent and open about the limitations of their own humanity as well as the weakness of their faith. None of the events that were taking place that night were going as they had thought. They all envisioned a King who be enthroned in Jerusalem, putting down the corrupt religious leaders and crushing the Roman oppressors in the process. But that’s not what was happening. Jesus seemed to be losing. He was talking about being delivered to crucifixion. This was not what they had signed up for. So, when Jesus announces that He was about to be betrayed, it was easy for each of them to admit the possibility that it might be him.

How about you? When life doesn’t go exactly as you had hoped that it should go, do you have some doubts about your faith? Have you ever thought (or even said), “if God were real, why is this happening to me?” I know I have. Even though I have experienced cataclysmic changes in my life since being born-again; even though I have seen God’s blessing on myself and others time and time again; and even though He has miraculously protected me and provided for me so many times in the past; every once in a while, I still have my moments where my faith is weak.

One thing I suppose that we can all learn from the experience of Judas is that even though we may have our moments of weakness, we should not make any major decisions during them. Judas acted upon his lack of faith, and turned the Lord over to the religious leaders and Roman authorities. He was complicit with a plan that he knew was conceived in envy and deceit. He know that the Lord Jesus was innocent; yet, he conspired with evil men for money.

When you have your moments of doubt the best thing that you can do is to wait before speaking or acting. Get alone with the Lord in your prayer closet with an open Bible and allow the Lord to help you with your questions and give you the assurance that you need. Maybe you should find somebody that you know has strong faith and ask for their help. It is normal to have doubts. We are all in good company. The men closest to the Lord struggled at times also, but don’t throw in the towel on God (if that’s even possible for a true believer). Just wait and pray; strengthen your faith through the Word of God; get around a brother or sister that has walked with God a little longer and further than you have and soon your doubts will be gone.